Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Sinking Feelings

It's hard, as a male, to admit weakness. You're expected to be strong, to take command of the situation and be at ease amongst adversity. To slip away when feeling overwhelmed in order to heal. To ask for the affirmation of loved ones and be content with the future despite whatever challenges it may bring.


I have none of that. I don't have a supportive family. I don't have much of a social network to rely upon. I'm still new to living in a large city and unless you're part of the established top end of the social hierarchy you will find what humanity and survival is at it's very core. Every dream, hope, feeling, any sense of pride... It's all stripped away as you are clinically reduced and marginalized to the level of an animal with only your breath and basic needs as a survival mechanism. Breathe, don't internalize anything that isn't a basic suvival mechanism. To do so will only cause you to question the complete total meaningless of everything. Nerves, don't allow them to get to you. Just breath and question absolutely nothing.

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